Mommy Guilt

I use to watch the Hallmark type commercials about motherhood and sigh with anticipation of becoming a mother. I knew that it would be filled with giggles, cookie baking, nail painting and long deep talks. I was sure that I would be just like the proverbs 31 wife, I would be kind and loving, calm and forgiving. My husband would know that everyday he could come home to a leave it to Beaver worthy dinner with smiling excited children while I had make up on and freshly done hair. The kids would show him what they had learned that day and life would be beautiful....I was convinced that my life would be just like the TV ads and old movies , That to be a good mom I would have to always be happy, always be smiling , always be in the floor playing, doing crafts, and also have a perfectly clean home and immaculate physical appearance. I would never be tired and I would NEVER feel burned out and over worked..

Ya know what!? I sometimes hate that Proverbs 31 wife and that stupid leave it to Beaver mother makes me sick!!!!!
Motherhood is HARD its sticky and messy and honestly I sometimes wonder what in the world I was thinking!? I love my children, I really do! But lets face the truth it is not always fun, it is very rarely easy and it takes more patience than any of us ever imagined! The days I actually have make up on are nothing short of miraculous. I am always ALWAYS tired! My three year old refers to craft time as CRAP time... what does that say about my crafting skills!? My house is a wreck more than it is clean, I am absolutely giddy on the days I get to go to the store alone! Dinner is so incredibly hard to get fixed and on the table at a decent hour and forget all the "healthy rules" to eating with kiddos... Organic? Gluten free? Dairy ? Vegan? SERIOUSLY some nights they get store bought waffles with "gasp" JELLY!  In the mornings you bet your tush that I sometimes turn on Nick jr so I can drink my coffee and look at facebook with out screaming at anyone.. I use to cringe in shame at ''Mommy play dates" when one of my littles would burst out singing the dora song word for word.. ''Must have learned that at grandmas'' I would say while giving the little a glaring look.. But no more.. YES WE WATCH TV... not all day, not every minute, but it happens.. and my kids will survive. I yell... yep sometimes I yell at my kids. They are sometimes tiny little crazies that are loud, aggressive and set on destroying everything they touch soo I do yell. I am working on it, I am praying about it, God knows my heart, my littles know my heart.. I love them and would die for them.. But I still yell and they still will survive..
No matter how much I pray , when I step on a lego at two in the morning I say a swear word.. sometimes under my breath ..... sometimes a bit louder .... I think God understands..

But you know what!? I don't think most of my friends at church or in facebook land do.... I am pretty sure if they are honest their reality looks a whole lot like mine... maybe worse! But do they admit it? NOPE.. I click on facebook and see stories of Martha Stuart type baking adventures and star gazing evenings... My cookie baking always end up with fire alarms and sensory sensitive kids screaming in agony while I vow to destroy that stupid fire alarm.. Star gazing at our home often ends with bug bites, falls and fighting over who sits/stands where!

See the issue is not that women post these long flowery updates about all of the special fun evenings that seem to go perfectly everytime... it is that they never post,discuss or confess that sometimes it is hard, sometimes life is messy, sometimes even the best kids melt down...they post instead rants and rules about how to be a good mommy..
Depending on what day you log on, or what group you visit, or what coffee shop you walk into..
No gluten!
No sugar!
NO tv!
Baby wear always!
cry it out
nurse till five, Nurse for six months.. just what ever you do , know that if you don't nurse your baby he will surely die!!
eat organic only.
read this , do that..
keep a schedule! But be flexible!
you should co sleep, no leave them in  the  room alone from day one!
If you just do this your kid will never act up again!
Your kid is aggressive!? mine never do that... you must be eating too many sweets.
Your kid has a game at five!?!?! Your kid does NOT have a game!?!?!
Why are you not enrolled in football,art,singing,chess,dance,gymnastics!?!?!?!
Private school? Homeschool? Public school?
Oh , you homeschool? what about social skills??
Only buy this brand! Only let her wear this!

Seriously? Tell me how anyone is suppose to follow any of that? No wonder so many mothers are depressed, frantic and feel less than human! 
Dear Mom who is feeling bad because some other mother seems to be doing ''it'' better than you, Hear me when I say; God sees your trying, He knows your heart! Turn on the TV or don't..Eat the cookies or don't.. As long as you love your babies, as long as your trying, as long as you keep on when it is hard that is all they will remember!!!!

 Honestly, I am getting off my soapbox in about two seconds BUT see those kids ^^^ in the photo above.. They sometimes get yelled at, they watch tv, play video games, and sometimes get junk food and soda...life in our home is stressful and sometimes hard.. they have been through so much before we became a family but God knows our hearts.. He is blessing us and they are becoming outstanding little mini Seals... Even with all my crazy parenting they are thriving and are AMAZING!!!! Your kiddos will too, no matter what choices you make! Faith, Family and ducks  Love! It is all you need!